I am sorry but today I have no words to write for comforting or examining. I had to turn rather to the Lord in prayer, I will share it with you.
Today I woke up and started the daily routine. The usual getting kids dressed fed and off to school. I sat down in my moment of quiet to seek you and search to draw near and receive all that I can from you. Without that closeness, without Your presence, there is no purpose and no direction. I would sit and write a little, but if I cannot find you, then there is nothing to write. Without the Living Word expressing Itself to me and the waters of enlightenment flowing over me, I find not a single word.
You have shown me my the error of my way, You have opened my eyes to see how much of me I put into this quiet moment with You. Forgive me Lord. Restore again to Your lofty throne and rule supreme in my soul. Please make Yourself the reason, the cause, the way and the goal of everything in my day and in my life. Let me remove self along with all of its hidden intentions. Allow me to serve You completely and without rival.
If I have found favor in the eyes of the Lord today, permit me to ask one favor from my God. Grant what I ask please I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ who paid what I lack and made it proper for me to petition the Almighty in this way. Hear my request and scour my heart for sincerity.
What I beg of You today my Lord is this; that I may proceed in the footsteps of my Savior Jesus Christ. Grant that I follow Him past the grave in that I leave my self, hanging on its own cross. Let me continue past the death of the self-life and into another world of different purposes. Let me live and breathe only in and for Jesus.
The life I lived before was under curse. It was not really living, but a slow and painful way of dying. But to find my heart and my soul, even a little part of it living in Christ, this is life! I have tasted You and cannot return again to that bland food I fed from before. My soul needs the Bread of Life and my heart thirsts for the wine of Your blood.
Life without You flooding and filling, is no life at all. And life in You and with You, is so overwhelming that it cannot be contained in this frail and leaky vessel. However the thought of not having Your Presence pouring over and through is to crushing to bear.
So I stand boldly to demand this of my God. I know full well that I have neither merit nor hope of paying any of the cost myself. But the One I am asking for, the Treasure which I have pleaded for, He has paid and He is worthy. He will be my all. He will cover my debts of merit and all that I lack in desire, effort and strength. He will be my Prize, my Pearl and my Treasure.
Jesus is my hope and Jesus is my goal. I would be in Him or I would be no more. Take any price from me that I may pay. Send me the bill no matter how great and whatever exceeds that what I can support, put it on my tab. The same one who holds me up and gives me strength to carry the burden, He will and has paid that what I lack.
To Him be the Glory today and forever more. I have no illusion that any of this is really for me in any way. All things are for His pleasure and for His glory. Therefore, if my request is granted and You are pleased to send me what I ask, then it too will be for Your pleasure and for Your Glory. Forgive me just one pleasure though, that I may see and be filled with joy unspeakable to be found even a part in You.
In Your name I pray,
Your humble servant